As a mom you hear yourself saying a lot to your children, “everyone makes mistakes its okay”. Followed by… “What did you learn?”
I’m an advocate of learning, growing, changing and evolving. What’s interesting however, is when your mind is convinced down to your very core that the bones of something you believe are so real, any other views or ideas get lost in the transition of information.

While raising a child you need to have an answer to every WHY!
Why is the moon yellow?
Why does the sun come up?
Why do you eat avocado?
 (That was actually my sons most recent question)
My answers cannot be “because I said so”.  They must be believable, true and easy to understand. Or else my toddler will stir away from me, in disbelief or continue to say …  “why?”

This continuous “why” activity,  is actually how I had been over the last couple of years, with regards to my beliefs and understandings around nutrition, and my lifestyle as a competitive athlete.

For years I rooted and tooted the horns for the “eat clean” team and sold memberships to the cardio club.  I loved it, as much as I hated it.
But becoming a mommy was when I started to doubt my own fitness faith. Even with doubts however I struggled to fit double workouts and bland diets into my life while trying to turn my cheek to my toddler attempting to feed me cherrioes.
It wasn’t until my 2nd pregnancy came about that my mind really started to wander.  I had just finished a bout of competing, I had a serious rebound and had a lot of frustration and anger towards my “clean eating” faith.

Why was it continuously letting me down!  Why did my body hate me so much. 

Funny part was, I knew what I was doing wasn’t healthy,  I am a holistic nutritionist and I would never recommend what I did to someone else. My own natural path laid results of failing metabolic response  and slipping nutrient levels in front of me, I literally was deficient in every single vitamin!… But for someone reason. I was convinced I needed to be hard core. I needed to push past my limits. I didn’t listen to my heart. Until one day, I sat across from a best friend of mine and said,

“There has to be another way”

So research I did. I watched videos by Dr. Layne Norton, read articles, studied for hours.. Days… And reached out for help from other competitors, friends and DR’s to answer questions and break my moulded beliefs.

I was going to fix my own mistakes and answer my WHY!?

I’m learning through trial post baby right now how to feel good about myself and the food I eat, while training appropriately and not obsessively.  I’m a mommy first, but an athlete second and you best bet I train hard, and NOW I eat to fuel- not to prove I can live off tilapia and green beans.

I am learning to be stable in my approach to nutrition and training.  Not obsessive and compulsive.

And I can tell you, as I come back as a mommy to two, and an athlete, I am happier than ever before.   Why!?  Because I am finally in a place that makes sense, mentally, scientifically and physically.  

If this is a place you find yourself or you know of someone in the same position, feel free to share my story, and make sure to not just follow the herd.  Your mind and body will tell you when what you are doing is not right (you just have to listen)



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