Over the past few months I have had a lot going on. My job required me to travel a lot. My son was going through his terrible twos, at 18 months, (crazy but hilarious) my husband is amazing as always (lol), I was transitioning to a vegan lifestyle after a half a year of very scary run ins with a not so happy internal system, I was in and out of the hospital, I started putting together a brand new Natural Bodybuilding, Fitness and Figure competition, I started my blog and my own business with Arbonne, a vegan/animal friendly pure and natural body care and cosmetics line… “breath”….I guess you could say that I love to be busy. But I was definitely over whelmed.
Life handed me cards, and I took ’em, played the best game I could, and kept my poker face even if it was getting too hard.
Things started to really run smooth at the beginning of this summer. So smooth that my husband and I talked about me competing again, or having a baby, or him playing football… We didn’t know what was next, but we prayed that God would show us our answer.
Hosting a bodybuilding show, and having athletes start to sign up, and talking to them about their prep got me itching to get back on stage.
Then I would come home to see my sister-in-law and her cute prego tummy, thinking if that was what I wanted next.
Then my son would lay on the floor kicking and screaming after I looked at him the wrong way, and didn’t understand his 18month old blabble.
So we had all these ideas… but no answers. So we turned to God. Did he listen….I think so.
I have been traveling a lot, and although I will tell you time and time again, I love my job , I love my co-workers, and I love my customers.. I missed my baby, every night away tore me inside. My father in law said something to me yesterday that resignated deep inside. He said “Ever since you got your job that requires you to travel, we have been praying for you to find something that doesn’t make you travel so much…”
Secretly… I have been as well…
Then this week GOD came knockin’ on my door and handed me a card, that I didn’t see coming
I was laied off from my awesome job.
When the recession hit the US, I didn’t feel it. When I was asked while on the road if it was going to effect my company, I denied the possibility. I went on in my own little bubble, fought the fight, and continued on every day. Then everything as I knew it, came crashing down.
Although I saw layoffs happening around me, I for some reason didn’t think I was at risk. Until I walked into work after a week vacation with my family, and was told that this change would directly impact me.. and now my future.
So now what. As I signed my release papers and handed over my security badge, my head fogged over with thoughts of Zion in day care, as his mommy was loosing her job….
The thoughts trickled on, and I barely heard my HR persons voice…
“Do I have to pull Zion out of day care now?
Will I be able to find a job to take care of my family?
What if no job compares to this one?
Gosh, good thing we didn’t get pregnant….
What If we take Zion out of day care because we cant afford it, and we loose our amazing sitter, who we adore, and Zion adores…
Shoot, I don’t have some of my blogs saved on my own computer that I wrote while traveling.
Do I want to work again?
Is this God’s answer to our prayers?”
Then I got walked out..
My cab pulled up and it was like I was in a movie. I stepped into the cab, and this adorable old man who resembled a mix between Santa Clause and a former navy marine, with tattoos all up and down his arms, looked back at me, over the rim of his cute little glasses and said,
“G’morning Dear, Its a beautiful day! Where can I take you…” He made me smile, and his warmth let me know it was going to be okay. He talked about his children, grandchildren and he new great-grandson that was just born. How his house has turned back into a baby proofed home every 20 years, and his wife, went out and bought a whole 2nd wardrobe for the new baby, because “you know how you women love to shop!” The ride was fast, but enjoyable. I left him with a nice tip and a Blessing as I left his car. God sent him…. so I wasn’t alone on that drive home.
And then it started…. my new life. Who knows where this will take me. It means I’m answering emails in my pajama’s and writing blogs in Starbucks. I’m cleaning the house after lunch, and taking a nap after training.
Here we go… another Mission, for this mommy.
xo in Health,