I was recently reading a book on raising children.
Now Im not a huge fan of looking to books for answers.. but sometimes they do provide insight into what your experiancing with your son or daughter, family interactions and situations.
This last chapter I read was titled:
“Your child’s actions are an overflow of what is in their heart”
This was quite interesting to me. In the body of the chapter it dig deeper into why our children do the things that they do, and how we as parents should look deeper than the action they commit to what they are feeling in their heart.
Here is an example. Two children are playing together. One child has a toy and the other child steals it. Our usual reaction is to come in and discipline the child that stole the toy and say something along the lines of
“Who had it first?”
Here you are disciplining the action of stealing the toy. But you are ignoring the fact that one child doesn’t want to share and the other child, also doesn’t want to share and stole to toy. Both are more concerned about them selves and their own happiness.
Okay lets get serious, all kids are self-absorbed and live a little life in their own little world.
That’s the beauty of young children.
But what if you took a moment and rather that immediately disciplining, actually getting down at their level and asking.. “why don’t you want to share with Bobby? Don’t you want Bobby to be happy?”
Addressing that each child is only truly concerned about themselves, and that you raised them to care about….others.
Its an interesting tactic.
What do you think???