For years, I loved Christmas, but I feared it more as the week closed in on me.
I know I am not alone here either. The anxiety would set in, as chocolates and desserts were laid in front of me. Gravy was poured with love and my cup was overflowing with joyful wine!
It was a joyous time. I am not saying it wasn’t. But it was a week some times two full weeks of guilt, feelings of failure, fear, lack of will power.. the list could go on. These foods that I limited myself of and demonized year round surrounded me every where I turned.
These things came out of my mouth
“I shouldn’t have ate that”
“I have no self control”
“I hate how I feel now”
“Im so fat!”
So I had two options.
a) Show up with tupperware and my own food. Limit my family interaction and hide from the candy (been there and done that. No one likes it- so let me warn you now, don’t do it!)
b) Engage in the family fun of food, laughter and joy, while stuffing my tummy with everything in site, because we all know, I cannot have it again, and I will ‘re-start my diet in the morning”– but I inwardly hate myself more and more as I let the food win the battle, yet again.
This guilt, this pain, this constant yo-yo behaviour was crushing me from the inside and I did not know how to deal with it. I mean we are living in a society obsessed with dieting, being perfect, eating perfect, and we make fun of, or put down other people who maybe make diet choices that we do not. And we are surrounded by words and messages such as:
This year I have a new plan!!!
a) Look at the year or the month as a whole, not just the day of Christmas or the celebrations I will be partaking in! Look at that success I had of eating on my numbers, training my butt off for 95% of the year. Thats pretty dope!
b) Embrace the foods I want to eat, and eat until I am FULL (not until all the food is gone) because really, I can macro the left over turkey, chocolate AND a glass of wine tomorrow again if I want to
c) Stop worrying about the food. Focus on not missing a moment, the laughter, cheers, the hugs, the presents being opened. The FOOD will be there tomorrow, those moments will come and go once only
d) NO GUILT. It doesn’t matter what happens, If I eat one too many chocolates or don’t count my macros perfectly, being hard on myself over food, is not allowed this year!
These may seem silly, but for someone who has struggled with food for years, and understands the importance of sticking to a nutrition plan, I want to help others think of ways to embrace the season, be merry and bright!
If you are following this blog, I am sure you already try so hard all year long (WAY TO GO YOU!) Or you are on a solid routine the other 360 days of the year (minus the 5 you celebrate over the holidays). So set your own rules up for this years Christmas and holiday celebrations.
Take ownership over your food guilt and DONT let it run you!
In Love & Health,